10 Day Challenge- Day 3.

Eight Fears.

1.  Bugs.  And oddly, my nickname is "bugg." I've asked Mom and Dad several times where that nickname even come from, and no one seems to know.  Great, I'm called a bugg and for no reason.  But it stuck and 27 years later... I'm still called bugg more than Kayla.  So what did I do?  I now have everyone calling Jenna by "Jenna bugg."   HA! :)

2.  Being alone.  This is a more serious one, and not something I really talk about a lot because I don't want to sound depressed, BUT the truth is- it's depressing.  I want to find someone to love and love me and share my life with.   I am content being alone because I've lived on my own for so long now, but the longer I live alone the more I think about the "what if" I always live alone.  Ick. 

3.  Heights.  Like I really don't do well with heights.  I used to not really have this problem as bad, but the older I get, the more scared I get.  Or maybe I just know if I fall from wherever this height is, that I am more liable to break something?

4.  Small spaces.  Yes, Kayla is claustrophobic.  I don't even want to think about this long enough to talk about it. 

5.  Losing my mom and dad.  Now, I know that this day will come a lot sooner than I'm ready for it to but I just cannot think about it happening.  My mom and dad are my rocks in my life.  They are the two most important people in my life and I just hate hate hate thinking about losing them.  This kind of goes hand in hand with the me being alone thing, example.. no grandkids for them before they pass.  Ugh.

6.  My house catching on fire.  No lie, I really think about this a lot more than I should.  I don't know if it is because my brother is a fireman, or that I've dated several firemen, or that I just am really that paranoid about it but it is true.  In fact, when I first moved into my house I had the same dream every single night about my house burning down.  I was a nervous wreck about it but chalked it up to just being the first time homeowner nerves.  Well, about a month into my living in this house I was woke up in the middle of the night by the sound of flashing lights that I knew were a firetruck.  My first thought was that I was in a burning house so I grabbed Reagan (didn't have Roxie yet) and ran outside to the middle of the street.  I looked up and my neighbor's house was burning down.   After that night my dreams stopped.  It was the strangest thing.  But I still think all the time about it happening to me.  

7.  Witnessing someone die.  These are all starting to sound morbid... 
My reasoning for this one is the fact that I sat at my grandmother's bedside and held her hand while she passed away.  Now, this is a moment that I DO NOT regret because I am glad I got to be there with her in her final moments, but it was something I am not sure a 12 year old should have sat through.  But of course, no one in their right mind would have tried to make me leave her side.  My grandmother was and still is my best friend in the world.  And I miss her like crazy.  But back to my point, I know I will sit by someone's bedside again, but I just have this fear of seeing this happen in a tramatic way. 

8.  Losing my dogs.  I have already explained how attached I am to them so yes, I'm terrified of not having them both around.  

Well, now that I've depressed everyone... have a good day! :)