Letters to my Former Single Self (Link-Up)

Last week I saw a new blog series and I knew I wanted to join in this week! P.S.- I'm going to play catch up with the week's past questions too! :)






 I know I'm not married (yet!) but I already consider myself married, so I'm doing it anyway! :)
8 months from now I'll be on the verge of saying I Do to the man of my dreams anyway.. :)

Week One:
What did you think about dating and relationships when you were little? 
 What do you think of them now?
When I was little, I thought dating and relationships just happened.  There weren't any troubles, issues, or heartache.  I thought once you found the one you were going to marry that life just carried on as it should be. 
I was wrong.
Relationships are work.  Every single day they are work.  B and I have a solid relationship and I still know when he and I get married it will just be more work.  That's not to make it sound like a chore, because being married to him will be the biggest blessing of my life.  But there's always "work" to keep your marriage alive and successfull.  We can't both want to be lazy and let the other handle our relationship and keep it together.  We will both have to make every day efforts to keep the fire and romance going. 
I'm lucky because I know I have a man who will.  B cares more about knowing I'm happy than any other man I've known.  It's wonderful!
So while my childhood thoughts might not have been exactly how things are, with work from both partners, it can be! :)


Week 2 Question:
What did you think about dating and marriage the year before you met "the one?"

For those of you who knew me before I met B, you know the last year of my life had been one of the roughest.  I don't really want to go into a lot of detail since it's the past and I swore to myself a long time ago to leave it there.  I knew when I met B, that all my past heartaches were over.  I knew I had found a genuine good guy.  It was just a mystery to see if I was the one that God blessed to be given a chance with him.  I'm so glad God loves me! ;)

Okay, back on track-  the year before I met B..

I had been in a relationship with someone who didn't appreciate me or anything I did for him.  I wasn't even valued as a person when I look back on things in hindsight.  So that lead my thoughts in that year to be depressed, stressed, and angry.  I wondered what was wrong with me.  I wondered what I did to deserve it.  I later learned it wasn't me at all...

Thankfully, God was on my side and gave me some strength I didn't know what hiding inside me.  I put that relationship to a final end.  No going back. No more tries.  No more communication.  No anything except seeing them taillights leaving one last time and feeling the weight come off my chest. 

FREEDOM.

And then it was another set of emotions- starting over with just me and the dogs.  But you know what?  I loved it.  I got to know myself and know my strengths through all that.  And while I do not talk about it or even think about it I am glad and thankful for what it all taught me.  And I use a lot of those life learning lessons with B and myself.  We are both SO open and honest with each other.  NO secrets, NO holding in feelings, none of that.  We are just a match that lets out our good and bad emotions, fears, feelings, and deal with them TOGETHER. 

So, in a nutshell- the year before I met B was a whirlwind of sad/angry emotions.  I was scared that all dating and marriage was a series of being done bad and you'd eventually have to figure out what the best of the worst there was.  I kind of felt like I was stuck either alone or in a heartless marriage.  And I was opting for single.  But when I met B, my whole inner self changed.  A new outlook on life was born and my heart and soul found it's peace within him.  I wake up every single morning even more thankful than the last for him and thank God for this man.

And since he reads this- I love you babe.  You are my soul mate.  For life.  Can't wait to say I Do with you :)

Week Three:
Over the years, what did you learn you needed in a significant other? 
What did you learn about yourself?

Over the years my ideal needs have changed.  I used to just want the "ideal family" with the house, dog, and 2.5 or whatever that crazy statisic is... but now my needs are so much different.

I need a man who is devoted to me.  I want him to have hobbies and enjoy his alone time and hang with his buddies and have a life outside of me, but I also want to have alone time with him when he devotes himself to me.  And I should do the same for him.  No internet, no cell phones, no nodding through conversations while you are secretly watching the tv.  Just pure time alone to get back to where you started and WHY you started.  Some of my favorite moments with B are when there is no one but just us and conversation. 

I need a man who loves to be himself around me.  I love when B does things that he wouldn't do in front of anyone else.  He tells me things I know he'd be embarrassed to tell others.  He is just HIMSELF around me and I love the raw him. 

I need a man who needs me.  Now, don't take me wrong with this statement.  I fully expect B to hold us his end of the household things and know he will.  But I want a man who needs me to help him make sure his clothes are done, make sure his favorite shirt is ready for our date night that weekend, to make sure his meals are cooked, to make sure there is tea in the fridge.  I just simply want a man who needs me in his life to make a marriage work TOGETHER.

I need a man who loves family time.  B and I have both have great families and I need someone who understands that sometimes we have to sacrifice a date night to go see a ballgame or beauty pageant.  Thankfully, B, is very family centered. 

Well, honestly I could go on and on.. but I'll stop here.  I just need a man who I can depend on and who can depend on me.

I just simply cannot wait for October 12, 2013! :)



4 comments:

  1. I kind of like the idea of this :)

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  2. Thank you so much for this letter. I recently ended a year and a half long relationship and I have to admit I do feel like there will never be another one for me. But this gives me hope. Thank you. :)

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  3. This is a really fantastic post and I'm SO glad that I read it. I love and appreciate your insight from someone who has a healthy, happy relationship! I'm just starting to get back out there after being broken up with a year ago. It's been a TOUGH year of recovery but I'm finally ready again. Reading your post really encouraged me to get back out there and there are just amazing things around the bend. I just know it!

    THANK YOU for your encouraging post :)

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