My faith

As time gets quicker with my upcoming wedding, my nerves are getting shorter.  I find that I can't rememeber anything quite like I used to, and nothing seems more thrilling than getting an extra ten minutes of sleep.  BUT, in 37 days (Yes! only 37!) until I say "I Do.." to the man of my dreams, I've relied on my faith. 

Long before Brian and I got engaged, I had this idea of what I wanted my wedding to be like, look like, and feel like.  And for the most part, it's going to be that way.  There were things that I had to cut for budget reasons, or things I just knew would be too much of a hassle since the wedding is almost an hour away from my hometown.  As a whole, my "fairytale" day is well under way to unfold on October 12. 

However, that's not to say it has been an easy ride.  I'm very OCD about things getting done and while Brian and I have had busy lives ever singe our engagement, it's been difficult to throw in those "to do" things to soothe my OCD ways.  I've had nights I've cried to sleep, I've woke up angry at myself for getting so worked up over something so simple, and yet I still get upset and nervous when I think about what all is left to do.

I've joked for awhile that my to do list is getting longer rather than shorter, but now it's really getting to crunch time and I'm seeing some major things being finalized.  It's been a rewarding last few weeks for me to see some of these things really start to "come together" like everyone promised they would.

With that said, this weekend I have several things on my to do that I am determined to get accomplished.  To make me even more determined, I've calculated it up and we have five weeks to go.  That's only four weekends to get all the rest of the bigger projects done and ready. That makes my heart have some serious palpatations, ha!  Because the scary thing is, we have three nephews playing ball all in that time period too so we have to do the aunt/uncle duties on top of our wedding duties. 

If it seems like I am complaining, then I apologize. I have loved every single moment with Brian since we started dating, and being engaged to him has truly been a whirlwind.  This whole relationship has been a whirlwind romance, but what I AM trying to say is that I'm ready to be Mrs. White.  I want to put away the bridal books and dust off my cookbooks.  I want to feel a rush of excitment knowing I have a husband at home to help with things I struggle with.  I will fuss about him leaving the water on the sink, or him "not doing the laundry right" but it's those little things I sit here and smile thinking about.  I know Brian will find my flaws as much, if not more, than I will in him.  But we are on the brink of a wonderful life together and I couldn't be more thrilled to step into the journey with him by my side.

God really has been on our side.  We have learned how to respect one another on a different level than a lot of couples because we learned to adapt from past bad to seeing the good in one another.  We became each other's friend as our relationship grew and I truly think God placed us in each other's lives for that reason.  He kept Brian and I around each other when both of us had moments of hurt and confusion, but through God's grace He taught me to understand Brian in a multitude of different ways.  I prayed for understanding when it came to how to understand how Brian and I's differences were ever going to "work out" and how we could avoid ever feeling like we were at each other's end.  And then I believe God heard me and landed me right in front of Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages.  I exploded with cheer and was constantly texting Brian to tell him why I acted certain ways and he others about situations.  It wasn't that he or I were wrong, it was that we were wanting the other to look at it from OUR point of view and that simply isn't how we as humans work.  If you've never read the book, please give it a shot.  It amazed me and I can't wait until after the wedding to get some more books to read into.  Yes, I'm sort of a self-help book snob.  I love them.

So while getting to know someone who has came from a hurtful past, allowing myself to open up to someone after a hurtful past, and dealing with life's crazy moments- there's no one else I'd rather be on the verge of marrying.  Brian is my soulmate and I cannot wait to be his wife.

End mushy post. ;)


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